Waters Gone By

I am so glad to get back on my blog.' You will surely forget your trouble, recalling it only as the waters gone by'. I'm praying this will be true for me.  . Handling everything by myself isn't natural to me and I can't seem to get the hang of it. I also can't seem to find myself a good place. I do things one at a time or ignore them altogether. I know I couldn't have gotten through college this way but then there was hope. My dad kept asking me which college I wanted to go too. I just kept putting my decision off. Finally at Christmas Break he loaded all of us in the car and we went up to visit Iowa State. He signed me up, got me a dorm room and for I was enrolled for my freshman year. I graduated and then married.  I had wanted to travel and teach overseas.  I'm not sure how I thought I was going to do that. I was younger however now I am wiser. My job is to manage my life by myself with God's help.  I hope to get to a place where I can forget the trouble and recall it only as the waters gone by.

A New Life

I am starting a new life. My husband died and I have felt stuck in a dark place. But I want to get my life going. I know what I want my life to look like. I'm just not sure how to get from here to there. My first goal is to have healthy meals and start walking every day. Next I want to start attending church and become involved there. It seems that there is no real place[ for a woman without a husband. I want my life to have purpose and also to have creative activity. my skills are teaching and encouragement of others. I want to get my creativity and music back. Lord I don't know what to do but my eyes are on you.

Change

Change is a fact of life.  I don't like change.  College, marriage, teaching, four children in seven years, Grandma'-Nana 'death, dad's death,  Marvin's death, mom's death two older cousins death,  aunts and uncles gone. I am now a widow - something I never thought I'd be.  I don't have the skills a widow needs-taxes, budget, confrontation, independence. making important decisions.  I was a good wife but those aren't the skills I need.  The only non-changing thing in my life is that I am a child of the King of Kings.

Thanksgiving Bessings

Thanksgiving is coming and I want to take it as a time to be thankful of God's Blessings. The first is my family. I have four children and each is a blessing. Mark is my oldest son and has always helped me in crisis. I remember when Grandma-Nana died. I was so upset trying to get everything arranged so Marvin and I could go to the funeral. She was my favorite person and a real rock for me. I knew I could always go to her house for any reason anytime. With four little kids I was really having a hard time. Marvin was at work so Mark stepped up and made calls and arrangements for me and helped me remember what to pack. He was such a blessing in a crisis - even when Dad was killed in a CAR CRASH. He loved Dad as much as I did. But he helped me get things together so he and I could go pick up my brother at the airport and Marvin and the other kids would come a couple of days later. As you can see I'm not at my best in a crisis, but God knew that and gave me an oldest child who could help me. My next child (Todd) was an absolute joy. He and I would talk about any problems and work them out peaceably. He practiced the piano and sax willingly. He did his chores -wellexcept for his room. Marvin came up with the idea of tying their allowance to cleaning their rooms and other jobs. Todd did great until he got a job at a fast food place at the Mall. Then no more cleaning. Marvin asked him why and he said he just didn't need the money now. I enjoyed his concerts so much and really missed him when he joined the Navy and became a Nuke on a submarine. My third son (Scott) was a joy also. He and Todd played together for hours -happily. He got alone well in school and I didn't realize how aggressive he was until he began playing Center for football at Washburn Rural. From 7th grade on he always played first team. It was fun and exciting to go see his games. I have to admit a couple of times I almost ran out on the field but to Scott's relief I controlled myself. He attended EMmaus Bible School and Marvin and I enjoyed Parents Weekends so much. Scott was always busy in activities. He was President of the Student Body his 2nd year and Head RA his 3rd year. He met his wife there. They were both in a singing group and came through Topeka on their tour. We went and had supper with them and then later he called and said'"Do you remember Lynn Auld?" Marvin and I both thought and thought. All the girls were pretty, they all had long hair and they all sang nicely. We couldn't remember which one she was until Scott brought a picture home and put it on our Christmas tree. She was so beautiful and has been like a Ruth to our family such a blessing. I'm so thankful to have her raising my grandchildren. My fourth child was a GIRL. We didn't know they came in girls. She was so fun and loved to cheer her big brothers on. She really adored her big brothers. She loved to be in the middle of the crowd and was a leader from the beginning. She had a beautiful smile and people would come across the basement just to say hello to her. She didn't have much hair at first but with her beautiful smile it didn't matter. When her hair came in it was a beautiful white blonde. Little girls are such a blessing and grow to be our best friends.